By the end of this blog post, I will have convinced you that you have fallen victim to ‘The Paradox of Choice’. Don’t believe me? Well I felt the exact same way when I first heard of this theory...
In this day and age we can have everything we want with a click of our fingers (or mouse, thanks amazon babe). And not just that, we have MULTIPLE options to choose from. Which in theory you’d think would make it easier for you to make a decision, right? Wrong.
The Paradox of Choice is saying that there are so many options for us out there that it makes it harder to make a decision on something, as we are always thinking there will be something better. Consequently leaving us unsatisfied with whatever we choose.
Let me give you an example;
You need a plunger to fix your hair clogged shower drain. No worries, heres 8 for you to choose from.
“There’s a strong and sturdy one, GOD IS THAT THE PRICE?!”
“Ok, theres a cheaper, flimsier one with rubbish reviews but hey, a plunger is a plunger?”
“Ooo ok we might be on to something with this next one. It even has a backwards sucking option” (get your mind out of the gutter, hun - quite literally).
“Right, I’m going to look on another website before I commit to any of these equally good plungers.”
What are you looking for it to do? Have bells and whistles on and serve you a cup of tea whilst you’re using it? It’s a plunger, it plunges.
Now imagine the situation you find yourself in isn’t trying to fix your drain, it's that you’re single and looking for a relationship. The plunger is a potential partner that you have been chatting with for a while and have the option to commit to them, but you’re hesitant because there might be someone else out there who ticks more boxes than this person already does. So, you keep entertaining them while you explore your options elsewhere.
Sounds a bit familiar doesn’t it...
(I can hear your ‘omg’s’ through the computer).
I can imagine you’re feeling personally attacked right now, so let’s departmentalise this together.
It’s more than fine to want to find someone who is perfect for you. After all, most of us are trying to find the person who we want to spend the rest of our lives with, so they need to be bloody amazing.
But I think what ends up happening is that we subconsciously start to think, ‘what if there is someone else’. The person you’re getting to know could tick 9 out of 10 boxes off of your perfect partner requirement list (don’t lie and say you don’t have one, we all do), but that tiny teeny 1 that isn’t ticked will have you doubting whether they’re the right person for you.
Now, I will be honest, I’ve widened your eyes to this VERY insightful theory but I do not have a solution to offer you, lol. However, since I heard of The Paradox of Choice, I have had a very different outlook on dating.
Yes there might be someone out there who is bloody perfect for me and you know what, I might even meet them one day (on a thursday I hope!)
But am I going to completely rule someone out who is virtually perfecto for me, over something silly, like on a Sunday they go for a run and meal prep for the week and I am always hungover in bed in need of a takeaway and someone to snuggle? No I wont.
Instead I will look at the things we both enjoy and have similarities on. And hey who knows, maybe they can have the occasional cheat day takeaway and I could (emphasis on could) take up running!
So I’ll leave you to ponder this; is the grass really that much greener?