The Friendzone. That funny thing that happens when feelings are mismatched. One person wants more but will forever be an Option B Bestie. Or, even after your millionth signal, they keep hanging around hoping for more.
You know the funny thing about this dreaded “zone”? It’s not really a thing because you don’t owe anyone anything and it’s okay to just say no.
We all know how it goes. The love-struck friend who’s been put in the “zone” launches into a campaign of subtle romantic gestures – little good morning texts, accepting your every invitation, showing up as your biggest fan on social media, complimenting you in every way possible. Yes, potentially a little OTT but persistence pays off, right? After all, you just *know* you are meant to be.
But listen. If someone puts you in the friendzone, it’s not code. What it really means is ‘no thank you’. We need to stop believing that we don’t know how to properly communicate our feelings– we do! The idea of the friendzone is either just a way of making us seem less brutal or of ‘shaming’ someone for hurting your feelings. You don’t owe anyone anything. Likewise, why would you want to be involved with someone romantically just because they feel obligated to after all the effort you put in?
If this has happened to you, you’re not in the ‘friendzone’. You’re probably just not friends. Being someone’s real friend is not a ‘zone’ you move in and out of. Yes, it sucks for everyone involved but it can still be a positive situation where you are both clear and straight-up with each other. You might not be as close as you were before, but it’s cool. You move on. Eventually. No games. No confusion. No try-hard romance or denial.
When you’re onto a sure thing, you’ll know and there’ll be none of this nonsense.