The Chronicles of The Single Friend

I am going to tell you a tale which involves a young girl, a group of friends, endless weekly entertainment for said group of friends.

So, I am in a friendship group of 16 girls (I know, theres a lot of us). But would you believe it, I AM THE ONLY SINGLE ONE.

When you’re the ‘token single friend’, it’s pretty entertaining.

Every time we meet up I have the following conversation;

Friend 1: “Faye hows your love life going?”

Faye: “Yeah it’s going alright!”

Friend 2: “You still chatting to insert name of poor unfortunate soul ?”

Faye: “Who?? OH! Lol no, stopped entertaining that a while ago."

Friend 1: “Oh god, you’ll have to fill us in. BUT before you do, I was going to say, I have someone who I think would be PERFECT for you!”

Now I know what you’re thinking, ‘what a kind, thoughtful friend!’.


If I could get a £ every time one of my friends has said this to me/tried to set me up with someone, I could afford to pay to build my own perfect man from scratch.

It’s not that I haven’t given it a go, all 3 of my ex’s were introduced to me by my friends and I’ve even gone on dates with said suggested potential lover matches when my mates decide to play cupid. And it doesn’t work, for a multitude of reasons.

Plus, let’s be real, the only real thing we’ve got in common is a meddling (lovely though), mutual friend.

You also forget the very awkward situation I find myself in when it all goes tits up or one of us isn’t interested. Having to explain to your mate why it didn’t work out and don’t even get me started about when you see them at a function... The awkward “Hiya, you alright...” “Yeah thanks...” No I cannnnnnnnn’t.

I’m starting to think my friends do this on purpose. Play matchmaker so they have a chaotic, drama filled story to hear each week. I am their weekly entertainment...Anyway, this’ll put a funny image in your mind.

At Christmas the friendship group decided it would be a great idea to go to Winter Wonderland together. I thought ‘Yes sign me up, girly christmassy evening out’ then, the message came through... “Let’s invite the boyfriends”.


I anxiously waited 5 minutes before I went “Can I come even though I don’t have a boyfriend?”

“Of course you can you idiot!”

They must’ve been too busy with thinking about what to get their boyf for xmas because they didn’t try and set me up this time. WAHEYYYYY!

So off I headed, to Winter Wonderland.

Me and 16 couples.

Have you ever heard or even SEEN someone 33rd Wheeling? No you haven’t but thats exact what I was... LOL!

But hey, It’s not all bad though. I have gained 16 extra new friends in their boyfriends. Plus, they’re the only ones who will join me with having a pint at the pub. Silver linings ay!

If you take anything away from this weeks ramblings from me, is that NO your single friend doesn’t want to be set up with someone who YOU think would be perfect for them. If WE think it could work with one of your mates, we’ll tell ya ;) x

Apr 1, 2022
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