Dating when you live in London, but not really

Hertfordshire. You may have heard of it. One of the great Home Counties, bordering the city. Massive green spaces, clean air, connections to London, home to a handful of celebs…it’s not all bad.

However. When you’re approaching your mid-twenties, have been single for a while and are still living at home, dating gets tricky. Don’t get me wrong - I am so grateful to have gone through lockdowns in a nice home, with a decent garden, with my family, instead of a dingy flat in London costing me an arm and leg. And I have to admit, dating wasn’t really on my mind then, and having been through a tough break-up just before lockdown, I haven’t been on a date in a very…long…time…

Now that I work for a dating app, and I’m creeping up to that age where my friends are getting engaged to their partners, it’s high time I get back out there (although being the fun, drunk, single friend at weddings doesn’t sound all that bad).

My biggest annoyance when it comes to dating and where I live is the trains. Do you know how embarrassing it is to say to your date at 11:15pm, ‘I better head off, or I’ll miss my last train..’ It sounds like I’m either fishing for them to invite me to spend the night, or it sounds like an excuse to leave. On the bright side, when a date is going horribly, it’s a great line. 

The other issue is, do I really want to spend an hour getting ready, get a 40 minute train into London (which isn’t cheap, EVEN with a railcard) just to find out the guy is a foot shorter than me and believes the Earth is flat? Okay so living in London may not cut down the time it takes me to get ready, but at least the travel time will be!

And what happens when you’ve been dating for a little while, but not long enough to meet the parents and you just want to hang out at home? When you just want to just relax, watch a movie, get a takeaway…it’s either awkwardly introduce them to your family, not really knowing who to introduce them as, or go out to dinner, AGAIN.

And I’m sure anyone who lives just out side of London can release to this conversation:

‘Where do you live?’


‘Cool, where abouts?’

‘North London.’



 And then you’ve got either one of these responses coming - ‘where’s that?’ Or ‘that’s not London’. 

I am planning to hopefully move out into London sometime this year, so instead of spending £20 a day on my commute, I can now spend it on two pints at the pub.

Mar 25, 2022
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